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Frank went to the gym As he wants to loose weight to get a girlfriend. The receptionist gave him some promotion pack options of “loose 1kg...
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered...
An Australian asks a travel agent what’s the cheapest possible vacation to London that lets him see everything. “I have a whole evening in Dubai on...
I paid a visit to an art gallery today and saw an exquisite piece of art. It was of a fox. Every stroke on the painting...
Today I went to the children’s daycare for my first day of work there. When I walked in a kid asked if he could have an...
Mickey Mouse steps into lawyers office to review divorce with lawyer Mickey: I need to get out of this marriage! Minnie ruined my life. I’ve paid...
My buddies and I where out for a night on the town. We ended up at a high end bar with a dress code. All my...
One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy...
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my...
A man who drank alot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”. Regardless, that night he...
Nurse: “Do you have siblings?” Me: “Yes, a younger brother.” Nurse: “Does he have any medical issues?” Me: “He broke his finger on his right hand...
An 8 year old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him “Grandpa what is couple s*x?” The grandfather was...
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a...
If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend. His friend gets...
My son’s teacher has been giving him poor marks for grammar. At a parent-teacher conference, she was really lording it over me. “You know, I consulted...
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy. “Magic beer,” he...
A bartender is working one evening, when a panicked man comes charging into his bar. “BIG JAKE’S COMIN’!” he cries. “EVERYBODY RUN! BIG JAKE’S COMIN’!” The...
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.”...
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows...
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every...
