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A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a...
The Smiths were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered,...
Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn’t have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. “I...
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to...
A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to...
A woman went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he...
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. The...
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How...
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I...
A woman says to her husband that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her melons. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery...
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender missionary. I’ve baked ’em, I’ve roasted ’em,...
A secretary walked into her boss’s office & said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me...
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he...
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open...
A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are...
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would...
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came...
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, “Madam,...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a...
Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said...
