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A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men....
Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk. Paul asked Kurt, “So, what do you hunt?” Kurt answered, “I hunt unicorns.” Paul...
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special...
Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust...
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and...
A band director was having a lot of trouble with one of his drummers. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but performance didn’t...
A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s melons a little...
Little Johnny is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, “How was I born?” His mother awkwardly answers, “The stork brought you.” “Oh,” says...
Little Johnny looked so sad his teacher had to inquire what was wrong. “What’s the problem?” she asked. “I hope it’s not about your homework again.”...
An old man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry. He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, “Try our...
Mitsy and Milda were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays. Mitsy said, “My daughter-in-Law stopped making my grandchildren send their thank you notes. Each year...
A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd...
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but...
A grandfather is hanging out with his grandson. He says to his grandson, “Hey Johnny, please fetch me the cup of medicine and the cup of...
A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to...
Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: “It makes you feel young again.”...
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers...
An old lady was stopped to pull into a parking space. When a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in...
A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office. The wife says “I need a tooth pulled. No gas or Novocain! I’m in a terrible hurry....
There once was a little old lady who wanted a parrot all her life. Finally, one day she spots a good deal on a parrot for...
