A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer. “Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant. “Did you...
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can I help you sir?” Our...
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he...
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the woman behind the counter, “Is there a male pharmacist available?” “No” she says, “My sister and I...
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the...
Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and...
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because...
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can...
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said,...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following,...
Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends. “It’s funny,” says Samantha, “Peter’s balls are always cold as ice when I’m giving him a bl**job!” “You know...
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that...
A young boy asked his mother “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?” “Of course not, where did you hear such...
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the...
A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and...
A woman goes to the doctor with a black eye, and really looking rough. The doc says, “What happened?” The woman replies, “Every time my husband...
An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next...
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went...
The little daughter asked her mother, “How do you make a baby?” The mother didn’t know how to react. So she thought real hard, “Well, daddy...
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why...