Clean Jokes
A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot
A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot found themselves standing before the Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
“Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Heaven is now overcrowded. St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I cannot answer or don’t know, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven.
If not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.”
The philosopher stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ teachings,” With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct The philosopher disappeared and went to hell.
The mathematician then asked, “Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!”
With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared.
The mathematician read it and agreed it was correct.
The mathematician also went to hell.
The idiot stepped forward and said, “Bring me a chair!”
The Devil brought forward a chair.
“Drill 7 holes on the seat.”
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, “Which hole did my fart come out from ?”
The Devil inspected the seat and said, “The third hole from the right.”
“Wrong,” said the idiot, “it’s from my asshole.”
The idiot went to Heaven.
Two blondes were walking down the street
Two friends were standing in a bank
A little girl was out with her Grandmother
A woman is at the funeral
A old man and old woman
